Words of Wisdom
by Julie Weinstein
Friendships are so important, especially female friendships. And as we get older and life happens, friendships can change. It’s true what’s been said about types of friendships – for a season, for a reason, or for a lifetime.
I’m guessing we all have friends that fall under each of those “categories.”
I certainly have friends that are lifetime friends – whether I’ve known them forever or only a handful of years, whether they live out of town or locally. I am so incredibly grateful for these people and sometimes I wonder what I’d do without them. These are the ones who know your good days, your bad days, your high moments, your low moments, and those who will just as easily laugh with you as they will cry with you. These are the friends who sometimes feel more like family. And your number of lifetime friends certainly doesn’t need to be a high one because truth be told lifetime friends don’t come around all the time. Lifetime friends are really special and ones to hold dearly.
I also have had “seasonal” friends. And those are the ones that were wonderful friends at a certain time in our lives, and for whatever reason the friendship faded (whether it be because of circumstances, distance, or something else). I wouldn’t even say we’re not friends anymore; we’re simply not as close as we once were. It’s not necessarily a bad thing either! Sometimes it just happens and that’s ok. I firmly believe friendships (any relationship, really) shouldn’t be forced and they should always be two sided. And when it starts to feel forced or like you’re making all the effort, it might be time for that friendship to naturally fade.
And, finally, the last category – the “reason” friends – this can be good or bad depending. You know those people in your life who are what one might call an opportunist? The ones who are only there when they need something or when it benefits them. The ones who are only there for the fun stuff and aren’t there when you really need them. That’s what I might refer to as a “reason” friend.
But, like I said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing because a friend in this category might also be someone you were friends with while working at a certain job, let’s say, and when one of you goes to a different company that’s that. It can also be someone who is your “going out friend,” for example, and the two of you love going out and getting cocktails and that’s all you might do together. If it’s two sided and that’s ok for both of you, then great! Like I said, it can totally depend.
At the end of the day, I think we all want the type of friends who aren’t just there when it’s fun and glamorous and light hearted, but also the ones who are there when heavier things happen, when you are at a low point, and when you truly need them.
Of course, everyone wants to ride the wave when it’s at it’s peak, but the friends to hold onto are the ones who stay with you when it crashes, too. Those are the real ones. The lifetime ones. The ones who will ride that dirty bus with you when your champagne filled limo breaks down. Those are the ones.