A Letter to Elle at 12 Months

Elle at 12 Months

My dearest Elle,

Well, we are here already. Yep – we have made one trip around the sun together. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday that I gave birth to you, my tiny five pound baby. But in other ways, it seems like we’ve spent a lifetime together already. Indeed, I certainly can’t imagine life without you.

Before you, I tried to live a meaningful life. I didn’t think I was going to have a child (and I fully believe that people can live meaningful lives without having children). But after you, you are my meaning. You bring meaning and significance to everything I do.

Before you, I thought I knew what love was. After you, I have such a deeper understanding of true, unconditional love. You exemplify love, and you are the object of every ounce of love I could ever pour out.

Before you, I was selfish. It’s not fun to say that, but it’s pretty true. I had the luxury of doing what I want when I wanted to a large extent. After you, I am less selfish and understand the concept of sacrifice so much better. I would give anything to give you the best life possible.

Before you, I was happy. After you, I am joyful. My happiness is so much deeper and more abiding. It’s true and more fulfilling. It’s less fleeting and more permanent.

Before you, I sometimes laughed. After you, I always laugh every single day multiple times. In the best of times and in the hard times, you put a smile on my face. You bring a measure of levity and humor to my life that I haven’t had before.

Before you, I thought I had purpose. After you, I really do have purpose. You make me want to be a better person. Actually, nix that. You make me want to be the best person I can possibly be for you.

In the last year, everything has changed. But, yet with you, I feel more myself, more fulfilled, more content, more at home, and more in love than I ever have before. You are joy, you are precious, you are perfect, you are mine.

Elle, I am so grateful that you’re mine. Thank you for who you are. Thank you for all you have added to my life already in one short year. I hope and pray that I can be the best mother possible for you. Because you are the best baby I could have ever hoped or prayed for. I love you, sweet girl.

Thank you for making this the best year of my life — not because of circumstances, but because of you. You alone have made this year the best yet. Your mere presence has changed my life. And I’m so excited to share may more years together and celebrate many more birthdays together.

Happy first birthday, my sweet Elle Belle! I love you so mucho mucho mucho.

Love,

Mommy